dorites:

finally, a shirt with a giant cumshot on it to appeal to your aesthetic 

dorites:

finally, a shirt with a giant cumshot on it to appeal to your aesthetic 

AG
Me on my wedding day: you still like me right
AG

fortheloveofotps:

fortheloveofotps:

fortheloveofotps:

fortheloveofotps:

ive been singing the ‘I will kill you in your sleep so you’d better try to try to keep awake’ into the airvents for the past five minutes and my mom is going crazy because she cant find the source of the creepy music

update: she has called the neighbor over to help her

okay so im recording my voice singing it and putting it in the air vent os it can just keep playing

okay final update: im grounded

10.04.14 (152051)
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megachikorita:

tharook:

kissmyasuka:

altlitgossip:

'do u believe in lief after loev' by Caden Lovelace

im so mad because this is going to get picked up as like. a post-post-modern masterpiece. academics will shit themselves for this

I want this book.

i bought this book and let me tell you it is every bit as good as it looks theres an entire part thats about historical elephants listed alphabetically and its dedicated to the authors followers

08.04.14 (30865)
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zerostumbleine33:

zerostumbleine33:

08.04.14 (130808)
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mathsturbation:

were u not hugged as a child

08.04.14 (98437)
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grawly:

basedgosh:

reblog this with the most oddly specific meme you can find

does this count

07.04.14 (2072)
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nippled:

tumblr user more like tumblr loser am i right haha…I’m so sad

07.04.14 (170498)
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STOP EVERYTHING YOU’RE DOING.

THIS IS A VIDEO OF JOSH KEATON (VOICE OF SPECTACULAR SPIDER-MAN) READING A SELECTION OF SPECTACULAR SPIDER-MEMES.

07.04.14 (149023)
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My boyfriend is a brony and he shows me pictures of ponies having sex. What do I do?

foodchewer:

kill him

06.04.14 (220)
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deepfriedjesus:

mscaptains:
STROKE: Remember The 1st Three Letters… S.T..R …My friend sent this to me and encouraged me to post it and spread the word. I agree. If everyone can remember something this simple, we could save some folks.STROKE IDENTIFICATION:During a party, a friend stumbled and took a little fall - she assured everyone that she was fine and just tripped over a brick because of her new shoes. (they offered to call ambulance)They got her cleaned up and got her a new plate of food - while she appeared a bit shaken up, Ingrid went about enjoying herself the rest of the evening. Ingrid’s husband called later telling everyone that his wife had been taken to the hospital - (at 6:00pm , Ingrid passed away.)She had suffered a stroke at the party . Had they known how to identify the signs of a stroke, perhaps Ingrid would be with us today.Some don’t die. They end up in a helpless, hopeless condition instead. It only takes a minute to read this…STROKE IDENTIFICATION:A neurologist says that if he can get to a stroke victim within 3 hours he can totally reverse the effects of a stroke…totally. He said the trick was getting a stroke recognized, diagnosed, and then getting the patient medically cared for within 3 hours, which is tough.RECOGNIZING A STROKERemember the ‘3’ steps, STR . Read and Learn!Sometimes symptoms of a stroke are difficult to identify. Unfortunately, the lack of awareness spells disaster.The stroke victim may suffer severe brain damage when people nearby fail to recognize the symptoms of a stroke.Now doctors say a bystander can recognize a stroke by asking three simple questions :S * Ask the individual to SMILE ..T * = TALK. Ask the person to SPEAK A SIMPLE SENTENCE (Coherently) (eg ‘It is sunny out today’).R * Ask him or her to RAISE BOTH ARMS .If he or she has trouble with ANY ONE of these tasks, call the ambulance and describe the symptoms to the dispatcher.NOTE : Another ‘sign’ of a stroke is1. Ask the person to ‘stick’ out their tongue.2. If the tongue is ‘crooked’, if it goes to one side or the other that is also an indication of a stroke.A prominent cardiologist says if everyone who gets this e-mail sends it to 10 people; you can bet that at least one life will be saved.And it could be your own.

deepfriedjesus:

mscaptains:

STROKE: Remember The 1st Three Letters… S.T..R …
My friend sent this to me and encouraged me to post it and spread the word. I agree. If everyone can remember something this simple, we could save some folks.

STROKE IDENTIFICATION:
During a party, a friend stumbled and took a little fall - she assured everyone that she was fine and just tripped over a brick because of her new shoes. (they offered to call ambulance)

They got her cleaned up and got her a new plate of food - while she appeared a bit shaken up, Ingrid went about enjoying herself the rest of the evening. Ingrid’s husband called later telling everyone that his wife had been taken to the hospital - (at 6:00pm , Ingrid passed away.)
She had suffered a stroke at the party . Had they known how to identify the signs of a stroke, perhaps Ingrid would be with us today.

Some don’t die. They end up in a helpless, hopeless condition instead. It only takes a minute to read this…

STROKE IDENTIFICATION:

A neurologist says that if he can get to a stroke victim within 3 hours he can totally reverse the effects of a stroke…totally. He said the trick was getting a stroke recognized, diagnosed, and then getting the patient medically cared for within 3 hours, which is tough.

RECOGNIZING A STROKE

Remember the ‘3’ steps, STR . Read and Learn!
Sometimes symptoms of a stroke are difficult to identify. Unfortunately, the lack of awareness spells disaster.
The stroke victim may suffer severe brain damage when people nearby fail to recognize the symptoms of a stroke.
Now doctors say a bystander can recognize a stroke by asking three simple questions :

S * Ask the individual to SMILE ..
T * = TALK. Ask the person to SPEAK A SIMPLE SENTENCE (Coherently) (eg ‘It is sunny out today’).
R * Ask him or her to RAISE BOTH ARMS .

If he or she has trouble with ANY ONE of these tasks, call the ambulance and describe the symptoms to the dispatcher.

NOTE : Another ‘sign’ of a stroke is
1. Ask the person to ‘stick’ out their tongue.
2. If the tongue is ‘crooked’, if it goes to one side or the other that is also an indication of a stroke.

A prominent cardiologist says if everyone who gets this e-mail sends it to 10 people; you can bet that at least one life will be saved.

And it could be your own.

06.04.14 (249668)
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06.04.14 (34540)
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tonystarks:

You are the Elven Queen, young and sweet, only fifty-four hundred.
Elven Queen, feel the beat from the Dwarves against their cell walls.
You can dance, you can jive, having the time of your endless life.
See that dragon, watch that escape, digging the Elven Queen.

06.04.14 (7069)
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taco-bell-rey:

when someone calls you “hun”

image

06.04.14 (63773)
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captainobsessed:

rawdi-kun:

Today I got my friends to help me turn the whole class sideways and sit in the chairs like we normally would for April Fools and wait for our teacher to walk in. We also flipped her desk, chair and computer. The faces on the students passing our homeroom were priceless.

I’m not gonna lie, I thought you had somehow magically stapled your desks to the wall and I am the biggest idiot ever

captainobsessed:

rawdi-kun:

Today I got my friends to help me turn the whole class sideways and sit in the chairs like we normally would for April Fools and wait for our teacher to walk in. We also flipped her desk, chair and computer. The faces on the students passing our homeroom were priceless.

I’m not gonna lie, I thought you had somehow magically stapled your desks to the wall and I am the biggest idiot ever

06.04.14 (214067)
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AG